oh lord, my god and savior, jesus christ, i keep asking you to give me the grace of conversion. Day and night i hope for only one thing: that you show your mercy to me and let me experience your presence in my heart. Let me come to a genuine act of repentance, to an honest humble prayer, and to a free spontaneous generosity. I see so clearly the road to follow! i understand so well what is necessary for me to come to you. I can speak and teach eloquently about life in you. But my heart hesitates my inner and deepest self still holds back, wanting to bargain, wanting to say "yes, but..."

O lord, do i keep forgetting that you love me, that you are waiting for me with open arms? as a father with tears in his eyes, you see how your son is destroying the very life you gave him. Yet as a father you know, too, that you cannot force me to come back to you. Only when i freely come to you when i freely shake off the false cares and troubles and freely confess my false ways and freely pray for mercy, only then can you freely give me your love.

hear my prayer, o lord, hear my plea, hear my desire to return to you. do not leave me alone in my struggle, free me from bondage and save me from eternal damnation and show me the beauty of your face. Come, lord jesus, come. Amen

~ Henri Nouwen


I love in moments of speechlessness before God when there are those who have come before you and uttered the words you can not find. Thank your dear henri