Bittersweet 2

"The closer you get, the closer you get."

Chapter 2 of Bittersweet by Niequist comes at such an interesting time for me. After a bit of therapy, and self discovery the past few months, my best friend Dino comes into town from Kenya by way of Boston. Dino is not like most friends. He is one of those rare friends that Shauna speaks of in this chapter that become part of your being.

For over 15 years now Dino and I have shared life together. Over the last five with him in Kenya and me in Los Angeles that sharing happens less and less. But here is the part I never can seem to comprehend. Somehow Soulfriends even when they are not with you, they are with you.

Have we changed? Of course we're both older, I'm chubbier, he's thinner but our essences are still the same. Our thoughts on the hot topics are different shades of grey, but when he looks at me he gets me. There are no looks of judgment or shock. We know each other!

Nieguist is right "the closer we get in life, the closer we get". Each time I pulled away from Dino he stepped forward making me more open, and truthfully I for him as well. We have walked though dark moments and thoughts together.

One of the deepest mourning periods of my life was the loss of that weekly night with Dino sharing life, family, beer, pool, solving the worlds problems, communing, living and simply being. I morn those tuesday nights. Yet, the grace in this, is that five years after our nightly meetings ended, things remain the same. I never doubt that in my darkest nights that Dino is present. He is a part of me. His voice (janice's too) even in absence still teaches me. He has become part of me. That is the sweetness of the bittersweet reality that in a few days he will return home with his family as the seek to raise money in Boston, to return to their home in Kenya Africa.

I know the bitterness of loss because I have tasted the sweetness of friendship.