Stanley Marrow 2.

The gospel is not a series of don’ts. It is a call to live life, following G-d.. each convert has a unique faith. And each Convert follows G-d uniquely"

Stanley Marrow

I was going through my old notes and found this.... Stanley you will never know how profound your classes were to me. Even more you will never know how profound you as a person were to me.... "Our love remains"....

I’m sitting in my Thessalonians class with another real, authentic person Dr. Stanley Marrow SJ is a 80 something, Iraqi born, Jesuit, profoundly intelligent, professor. He is one of the people in my life, who if he were to ask me to follow him, like Jesus did the apostles, I would say… Absolutely

Stanley never forces his beliefs or his ideas on us. He just speaks and gives all that he is. If we choose to go where he is going, then great; if not, he is fine with that too, because it is part of us that is keeping us from going with him. And unlike most of humanity Stanley Loves people as they are.

He has given me a security that it is ok to just spout one’s beliefs. In actuality by spouting them just don’t try to force people to accept them. If they do, they do. If they don’t, they don’t. It is all Grace.

He has taught me that we have to realize our theology says more about us than it does about G-d. Thus when we talk about G-d don’t force Him (sic) to be who our neo-Platonist ideas are trying to make him to be.

G-d is G-d. Let him(sic) be.

Finished Bittersweet

I really like the way that Niequest writes. That being said bittersweet left me wanting. From the introduction I thought Niequest was going to allow us into her pain to allow us to experience, or at least empathize with the bitter realities of her life. She would open the door a crack and allow the darkness to escape just enough to draw you into the next short story. There were beautiful pieces about friendship and grace. Grace is new math, is a remarkable chapter. She challenged me to examine if the grace I live is similar to the grace I've received. "Grace is smashing the calculator and using all the broken buttons and pieces to make a mosaic....Grace isn't about having a second chance, grace is having so many chances that you could use them through all eternity and ver come up empty." (21) Niequest shares about a miscarriage that you can tell has deeply shaped her and her family and you can feel that her and her husband have traveled some rough roads. But I feel like I was kept at such a distance from her pain that I couldn't feel the bitterness that the book is intending its reader to experience. I felt like I bought a dark chocolate bar but when I ate it someone had switched it with milk chocolate. It was a bit to sweet for me. It left me craving 75% coaco.

That being said you will see my next few posts will be questions that I gleaned from Neiquest's book. She creates some beautiful word pictures.

Bittersweet 2

"The closer you get, the closer you get."

Chapter 2 of Bittersweet by Niequist comes at such an interesting time for me. After a bit of therapy, and self discovery the past few months, my best friend Dino comes into town from Kenya by way of Boston. Dino is not like most friends. He is one of those rare friends that Shauna speaks of in this chapter that become part of your being.

For over 15 years now Dino and I have shared life together. Over the last five with him in Kenya and me in Los Angeles that sharing happens less and less. But here is the part I never can seem to comprehend. Somehow Soulfriends even when they are not with you, they are with you.

Have we changed? Of course we're both older, I'm chubbier, he's thinner but our essences are still the same. Our thoughts on the hot topics are different shades of grey, but when he looks at me he gets me. There are no looks of judgment or shock. We know each other!

Nieguist is right "the closer we get in life, the closer we get". Each time I pulled away from Dino he stepped forward making me more open, and truthfully I for him as well. We have walked though dark moments and thoughts together.

One of the deepest mourning periods of my life was the loss of that weekly night with Dino sharing life, family, beer, pool, solving the worlds problems, communing, living and simply being. I morn those tuesday nights. Yet, the grace in this, is that five years after our nightly meetings ended, things remain the same. I never doubt that in my darkest nights that Dino is present. He is a part of me. His voice (janice's too) even in absence still teaches me. He has become part of me. That is the sweetness of the bittersweet reality that in a few days he will return home with his family as the seek to raise money in Boston, to return to their home in Kenya Africa.

I know the bitterness of loss because I have tasted the sweetness of friendship.

Bittersweet

I have to admit I am not a chocolate lover, that is unless it is very dark chocolate. Milk chocolate is way to sweet for me. Dark chocolate on the other hand encompasses both the bitterness and the simple sweetness that creates a complexity that my palate desires.

I am reading a short book by an author named Shauna Niequist called Bittersweet. The prologue itself is brilliant and challenging.

"bittersweet is the idea that in all things there is both something broken and something beautiful, that there is a sliver of lightness on even the darkest of nights, a shadow of hope in every heartbreak, and that rejoicing is no less rich when it contains a splinter of sadness."

This yen and yang according to Neiquist is the central theme that runs through Christian history and faith is "death and rebirth." While this makes me uncomfortable because I want to avoid lumping Christianity into holding the idea of death as central to its core, truth is I know it is true in my own life. My life has had its darknesses, its deaths. It is in those seasons of death that I hope and long for life to spring forth. Those bitter moments make the sweeter moments of my life mean more.

What would Easter be without Good friday? ...The promise land without the desert? Suffering like it or not is a part of all our existences. There is something important that happens in that dark space...

more of bittersweet to come...

hope and grace

These two words are two of my favorites. Hope because its what keeps me going and Grace because without it I am nothing. To my and Heathers great surprise when we were in Napa there is a winemaker who started his own wine company called Hope and Grace. He named it this because those are the names of his daughters. (which made Heather and I think about naming our child as well)

Not only are those two of my favorite words but the wine was killer. The tasting room has amazing art and over half of it was of a spiritual nature. If you are in Yountville (near Napa) check out this winemaker and his wine. If not just order some online.

http://www.hopeandgracewines.com/

Eating Is The Most Sacred Thing We Do

I heard Anne Lamont say this today on NPR. (First, let me just tell you how much I love her) Today was not the first time I heard this. However after preaching this Sunday on what happened on Maundy Thursday this statement struck me more deeply than ever before.

By far my favorite thing to do on this planet is to share food with friends. I love making meals, sharing wine, going to people’s homes, and going out to explore the best and the weirdest Los Angeles has to offer. I love parties, and celebrations. I love being with people after long days of work and relaxing over meaningful and sometimes meaningless conversation. These moments are some of the most divine I have ever experienced. Weather eating with new friends, old friends, or people you just met it is in sharing meals that we share life; figuratively and literally.

I once had a professor tell me that Jesus was killed because of whom he ate with. When we look at the parable Jesus taught about loving our neighbor called the “Good Samaritan” and compare that story to the people Jesus ate with throughout his short life, it is clear that Jesus put his own teachings to action. Jesus’ table was open to everyone. This made me ask the penetrating question: Is my table is open to everyone? Who do I wish would go eat somewhere else? What am I afraid of? Could I be afraid of seeing God in someone who makes me uncomfortable?

Is your life feeling blue or broken? Who have you shared a meal with recently? Do you need more Divine moments in your life? Perhaps we should turn off our televisions and phones during dinner and just enjoy the people we are with. Have you opened a great bottle of wine with friends recently? It is in sharing this cup that we remember the new covenant.

To all my Jewish friends at Makom and beyond May you have a blessed Passover Meal. May you find freedom from your personal Egypts. To all my other friends what will you be eating tonight?

Love

The christian does not understand God in terms of love: he understands love in terms of God as seen in Christ... Love is not the work of the Holy Spirit, it IS the holy spirit- working in us. God IS love, he doesn't merely have it or give it; he gives himself- to all men (sic), to all sorts and conditions: to believers and unbelievers, high and low, dark and pale, learned and ignorant, marxist and christian....-joseph fletcher (Situation Ethics: The new Morality)

GOD is good.

Just got great news from a friend that our legal system had compassion on him. (thanks be to God)

I am blown away by how often people are put into prisons. Our system is broken. It is not about healing, reconciliation, or rehabilitation. We put people away and do very little to change the situations that put them there in the first place. Obviously the problems are going to stay and many fellow brothers and sisters are going to be stuck in systems of injustice without the tools to change.

We must Re-think. Why do we not rethink old idea and see if we can still make the world a better place. Instead we are stuck in our own old patterns. God save us. Save us from our ignorance.

Back to posting

I've been taking a break from the web for a while. Its been about a year since I wrote last. I've been off facebook for about 4 to 5 months. I plan on writing weekly and using this as a place to engage what Im reading feel free to join in.